actually blog-reading does invoke alot of 'deep thinking' in me. not those posts that merely describe events or the day's happenings, but more of those that describe more... personal thoughts. struggles desires failures fears aspirations enlightenment gratitude frustation loss. genuine emotions. human emotions.

and its quite strange. coz sometimes i feel kinda melancholy(emo) when i read abt another person's success. or abt them realising a dream, and how they're so happy and excited and thankful. i actually feel quite miserable sometimes. hahahaha. its not like i want that particular person to have a shitty life, or that i enjoy seeing him/her fail and suffer. its nothing like that really. its more like, i cant understand how to feel happy for that person when i dont really know what its like to achieve such success. there's only so much joy i can feel for you when im too overwhelmed by jealousy. i want to be in your shoes, i want to know whats its like. i guess deep down, all us human beings are the same. we all yearn for the same things. like love. or friends we can be sure ARE forever. or direction in life. well at least most of us do. i know i do. so when i read abt another person's struggles of finding himself, it reminds me of how i have yet to find myself either. or when i read abt someone feeling so strong abt a particular cause, it makes me think abt how much i lack an identity. but it always hits the hardest when i find out that someone succeeds in attaining the things that i too yearn to have. why them and not me.

but of course im not always so emo lah. i do know how to be proud and happy for others. when you know how much a person wants something, and how he/she put so much effort into getting it, its hard not to feel an overwhelming sense of joy when they finally actually get it. hahaha. i guess its always best to be sincere abt anything you do. sincerity can really be felt. and it really does move people.=) but i guess it isnt that hard to fake it.=/ since so many people can get conned into a huge variety of things. hahahaha.