I know that in my previous post I was going on about how much I really wanted school to start and I know that everyone who has spoken to me in the last 2 weeks have clearly been told by me that I have been DYING for school to start since I dunno, the land before time, BUT, now that school is going to start TOMORROW.... I'm sitting here really really wishing that it didn't have to.=(

You see, I'VE JUST BEEN HAVING TOO MUCH FUN!

I've never had so much fun in such a long long time!=) The past week went by feeling like an overseas trip with friends! (instead of family.) And it has been awesome. I finally get to know what it's like. Been wanting to embark on a trip overseas with my friends for the longest time but none of our plans ever come to pass. Instead I sit around in Singapore watching ALL my other friends go on short trips to places nearby and some even on extravagant trips far away. And every single one of them return with stories and photos to share that I have to sit down and swallow with a smile even though inside I'm burning with jealousy and hatred at their luck of having such an experience.=)

So, HA. Take that! This year I embark on my 6 year holiday in Sydney! Woohoo! And the first week has been splendid! =P=P=P

But anyway, back to reality, school starts tmr.=( SIAN. I was really looking forward to school trust me. But what changed my mind was the faculty welcome we had on Tuesday. Well more like a welcome LECTURE. It was long. And I was reminded of all those long dreary lectures I had back in VJC(I love you VJC), which I honestly dreaded. Lol. Especially the Math ones. I could never focus. Half of my lecture notes were empty.=/ On the plus side, I'm doing a course that I chose because I really am interested in it. So lectures are supposed to be exciting and interesting are they not? Because I should be really awed by all the information being thrown at me. Right?=/ Grah. I just hope I don't sleep as much in school as I used to. Lol.

Which brings me to one other thing. My new year resolutions. Okay maybe not really 'new year' resolutions, because I never really believed in them and hence never made any. With the exception of this year. The only one which I posted on Facebook(yeah I know, so cheesy and gross. And some time in mid Jan so yeah, not really 'new year') together with half the world population, was to be as brave as Taylor Swift. If you don't get it never mind. Oh wth, I'll just explain anyways. Taylor Swift inspired me to be as brave as her in her song 'Speak now' where she courageously interrupted a wedding and ran away with the groom. Now how awesome is that!!!!! So yeah. I made a resolution to be braver than I usually am. Because if you knew the things I was afraid to do you would be calling me a wuss right now. Hahaha. I had little faith in this whole resolution thing as I mentioned earlier, but in this 2 months I have really seen how the term 'resolution' changes everything. It's weird I know, but taking time to really put some serious thought into what you want, labeling it with a strong word such as 'resolution' and sharing it with the rest of the world seems to give it some sort of extra power. Every time I feel like backing out of something, I think back about how I resolved to change the way I am and suddenly I find it in myself to go against my usual habits. I am honestly impressed by the power of language and what it means to us. Strong words really do make a difference. So maybe next time if you SWEAR to yourself that you will do the laundry today instead of just telling yourself that you ought to, you might just end up having a higher success rate. Hahaha.=)

So the whole previous paragraph was completely irrelevant. And since I have been rambling on for too long, I shall keep the rest short. Hahaha. My other resolution was unpublished because I decided it should be a 'new Month' resolution instead. I felt that there was no reason why I shouldn't try and change that habit in a month. Namely to sleep earlier. It did have some success before I left for Australia mind you, but since I got here, whew,  seems like I never made it in the first place. Lol. So yes, SCHOOL HAS BEGUN. I NEED TO SLEEP EARLY. ER. EARLIER.(early is too much to ask for)

Yay for resolutions. I can do this! Next problem to solve: Punctuality. Sigh. Been getting worse and worse and worse.=(

Oh and I had one more resolution. To touch and Elephant. Inspired by 'Eat, Pray, Love'. I hope I get the same joy out of doing it as she did. Hahaha.



A cockroach has infiltrated my room and is now in my wardrobe. I am terrified to death. God save me please.=( HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SLEEP IN PEACE.

I may not be the brightest star, but I'd like to think that I still shine in my own little way.

Bright enough to be seen at least?=/

Sigh. Comparing yourself with scholars really never leads to anything good does it? All it does is make you feel miserable. Unless of course you ARE a scholar. I don't do it all the time, but every now and then I get reminded of some bright stars of my previous schools and start to think about my own life and what I've done with it. And HELL my resume doesn't impress me. Hahaha. So then begins the digging for dirty laundry. Something to prove that these scholars aren't as perfect as they seem. Because really, you can't have it all can you? But so what if you find out that they aren't perfect? You're just doing it to make yourself feel better. You try to convince yourself that really, you're not that far behind or really, that's not the life you want anyways. Because at least, you know, I've got more time to have fun, or at least I'm better looking(don't judge), blah blah. So you don't stress out anymore, because somehow, now you're equals. And then you fall back into your old routine, the routine that really never got you anywhere. Next thing you know, Scholar dude is back on top and you're still down below trying to figure out what went wrong.

Maybe its better not to dig for dirty secrets. I prefer my idols to be perfect. Or rather, I prefer my competition to be perfect. So then at least I know there's always something I need to work towards. Because honestly, there really is a lot of work cut out for me. If I want to shine as bright as Scholar dude. LOL. Who am I kidding. Ain't gonna happen anytime soon. And really, I'm way too far behind for that.

Scholar dude is not fictional. I know someone I deem to be perfect and honestly, I'm still baffled by that possibility. How on earth can he have it all. I am so jealous. I really really am.

Oh well. Time to buck up loser. Try to make this time count please.

*Breathe breathe breathe*

This trip has proven to be a real test of my patience. WHEW. Okay this might be something unusual to rant about because I probably should have bigger things to worry about and all but HECK, this is the only issue that has compelled me to blog. And that is, I really don't know how much longer I can stand being around my parents.

PLEASE DON'T GET ME WRONG.

You must understand. I have never, NEVER I repeat, spent this amount of time with my parents ALONE. Sure my family does go on the occasional holiday for like a week or 2 at a stretch, but at least my siblings would be around!!!! I'm dying. Dying for some companionship besides that of my parents. Again, do not misunderstand, I love my parents very much and I am truly grateful that they are here to help see me through this tough transition period. Today itself they have helped set up my bank account and followed me to find accommodation(which we secured, thankfully). I admit, I could never do any of that on my own. Nothing this large scale. Maybe moving to another place in the same country I can manage. But moving to a new country? NO WAY. So yes, thank you Mother and Father, I owe you 2 my life really.

But I am sorry. You need to leave. SOON. Or at least leave me alone.=( God. I spent a whole 12 hours with them today and I feel like my head is about to explode any minute now. Thank god I have been returned to my laptop in a corner of my Aunt's place - the closest place to home right now - while my parents converse with my cousin in the kitchen downstairs. I have been really good okay. I didn't snap at my mum the WHOLE DAY. Even though my tongue was dying to lash out some unfriendly words. I don't want that. There is no point in that. Unnecessary unhappiness. So please please please, I hope now that the bulk of my concerns before uni have been addressed, I can have more time to myself. ALONE.

Please don't think any less of me after reading this. That's just my idea of family. I know it's not the best nor ideal, but it's the only way I know how to function in my family. For now at least.

Will school start already?


And oh yah, if you didn't manage to pick out certain updates in that rant, here's a summary:

- I have an Australian bank account! (not that it really matters to anyone else. Hahaha)

- I have a place to stay!=D (Which is just opposite UNSW! I take 2 mins to walk to school! WTH! Awesomeness. It's a decent place. But I'm staying with a Chinese family(that consists of an old couple, their ancient mother and a daughter) and another student from China. This is the only part I feel kinda urgh about. But they will cook for me and do my laundry. Hahahaha.)

- I got my student ID card! (The office where you get it is kinda interesting. It has like a bank counter, you take a few steps back form the counter and take a seat against a white screen. Staring right at you IN the counter is a camera that takes your ID photo. Lol. My camera was a bit lopsided and so was my hair. o.o But at least I managed a decent smile.=D So all's well. Hahaha)