Woke up today(today being Sunday 23rd Jan) feeling kinda miserable.

Not just any kind of miserable, but the kind of miserable that nothing and no one can make me feel better kind of miserable. Except the one person who caused this misery probably. But sad thing is I don't think you'll ever know that you affect me so much. And I don't think you really give a shit. I should really put this all behind me, seeing how it's been so long since I've had anything to do with you. But it's never that easy eh? Always easier said than done.

Coincidentally, a friend told me he was miserable today too. When I asked why he explained himself, but went on to say also that he was just being immature and I really shouldn't bother. I replied saying that its alright to feel immature and that we all go through phases like these. We just need to remember that they always pass eventually. Essentially, that's what I've been telling myself the whole day actually. Lol. But knowing that it passes never really makes the process that much easier to bear huh. Oh well. Thank god by the time I woke up half the day was already gone. Hahahaha. And actually my phase is kinda passing already. So yay for me.

I had a lot on my mind the whole day actually. But somehow at this point time, I have absolutely no idea how to put any of them into words. Maybe because I kinda resolved them in my head already so I see no need to pen them down. My thoughts have kinda left my mind already, and the strong emotions they brought along with them have kinda abated already too....

So yeah, all that's left for you to read is a really really badly structured, messy and kinda pointless blog post. Hahahahaha. I apologise.=)

(I tried reading this post and DAMN this is such a horrible read. Wow.)

Gosh. Major change in plans.

After a talk with my parents over dinner last night, I got some insights into their plans for me for the rest of the year. And damn were they unexpected. My idea of this Sydney 'holiday' was that it was kinda like that, a HOLIDAY. I'd go there and study, but I'd still consider Singapore my home, and still consider what I have in Singapore my Life, the BIGGEST part of my Life. But it seems.... now, I have to go over and... start a new life there and make that my home. And treat Singapore and everything here as... a nice place to holiday at. Treat everything here as... secondary. o.o

Wow.

Wasn't expecting that from my parents at all..... But I guess money really does take precedence over all sometimes.... They seem completely fine with not having me around for years at a time?=/ I don't get it. Since when were they.... Well since now I guess. Oh well. I guess this is what I signed up for. And its just time to face reality. It's not supposed to be and easy breezy beautiful education after all.

I'm scared.

Can the day just arrive already? Coz I can't stop worrying. And worrying, as all the wise people say, is so unnecessary. Sigh.

I am going to Sydney to further my studies.

For an event that sounds so trivial and simple, it sure as hell is freaking complicated! -.- but I'm not referring to the process or preparation involved here. I'm talking about the emotional rollercoaster that I've been going through. It's insane. There are a million different things I can think about when my mind drifts off into the future. Not all of the thoughts pleasent though. Sometimes it pains me so much to think about it that I have to consciously block it out of my head for I fear I might end up an emotional wreck.

But whatever it is I feel when I dream of Sydney, I'm starting to feel that this is good for me. In so many ways, this will be good for me. I only hope that that will be true. Coz there do seem to be a ton of stories about international students in Australia going rouge. Lol. Is that the right word??? Hahaha. Okay whatever lah. They just havoc. Lol. Please please please don't let that be me....=/

Anyway, sorry Australia is the only thing I blog about these days. Coz err.. Australia is the only thing I think about these days. Lol. So yeah. Whaaaaaaaaat the hell!=) (The wth is supposed to be from Avril's new song if you were wondering. Lol.)

P.S I typed this whole post on my iPhone!=D
(Okay I don't think it's that big a deal.)
(And that's why it's rather short. Tired already. Urgh.)

Okay there's one thing I'm really excited about for Sydney. And that's that....

I CAN FINALLY GET MY OWN 'REAL' FAKE ACCENT!!!!

=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D

WHOOPEE!

HIAKHIAKHIAKHIAKHIAKHIAKHIAK! *snort snort*

Excuse my excessive excitement, but I think having a fake accent is hilarious.
And OMGOSH SO FUN.=D
Can't wait to try it out when I return to Singapore.=P


In other news, I'm almost done with all the red tape processes for the trip(yay), but still left with a whole shit load of other stuff to sort out!(Damn) So much trash to clear in my room. And I haven't even got down to deciding what I should bring over. I wish I didn't have to work anymore so I'd have time to stay home and go through all my stuff and really organise my preparations. Right now its just a jumbled mess of information in my head taken from multiple sources about what I should do, what I need to do, what I should be wary of, what I should take advantage of, etc, and its driving me NUTS. And between all this I still have to meet up with peeps and leave time for other leisure activities like..... blahblahblah.

SIANNERS.

This whole process has been a real test of my independence, and my report slip shows BELOW AVERAGE. or SHITTY/SCREWED UP/PATHETIC more like it.=( (hmmm.....imagine if schools used such words in report slips.... 'Conduct: HORRID! Tom was a stupid kid who was pathetic at Math. He was useless at all other subjects as a matter of fact. Ought to be culled. Likewise for all the other dumb children.' Now wouldn't that be swell. Hahahaha) Anyway, now I finally realise how dependent I have been on my parents. As much as I like to think that I can survive on my own, I now know I haven't been doing that all this time. Making your own decisions in regards to your social life and time management with bits and pieces related to your education without your parents breathing down your neck is NOT independence. There are so many other aspects of my life which I have never managed by myself. Hence, I feel extremely fortunate for this opportunity. If I went to NUS, I'd probably still be as clueless as before.=/

I'm sure a wake up call is in order, waiting for me in Sydney.
I just hope it won't be too rude.=/