Homg. Its the last day of 2010.

This is scary shit. Usually the new year is really not that big of a deal to me, but its gonna be 2011 as of tomorrow and 2011 is a big deal for me.

I am scared. I am very nervous about starting the new year.

Its crunch time. Got to put my game face on.

But my insides are still trembling with fear.=/

My room is a Junkyard.

A Junkyard of memories.=)

Spent about 5 hours today trying to clear out my cupboards in preparation for the move to Sydney. I only spent 5 hours although I was home the whole day cause I only woke up at 4pm.=P But also because I was waiting for my brother to leave the house! So I'd get the whole room to myself. HUAHUAHUA. Love having the room to myself. Locked the door, blasted music and got down to work.(stopped to dance now and then when a nice song came on.) So I cleared out a few bags full of trash by the end of my cleaning spree and my room STILL looks like a mess. -.- Damn i have so much rubbish.

It probably took so long because when i looked through all my papers stashed away or all the kitsch lying around I'd get brought back to the time, place and event surrounding that item. For some, I'd sit there smiling to myself for the longest time, reminiscing about fun times, wishing I could just experience it all again. Just even for a day. Primary School, Secondary School, JC. Miss it all so much. Even NS actually. Found some interesting stuff from NS too. Lol. But ost of my NS stuff are just bulky and annoying though. And I have no place to put them! LBV and all that crap. -.-

One item I found made me smile when I first saw it. But once I flipped through it for 5 secs and I couldn't wait to GET RID OF IT. Gosh. Don't ask me why I still have it, but it was the book you receive in Sec 4 to give you info about JAE application and all the JCs and crap. I remember how nervous I was about VJ's cut-off. But thats not it. As I was flipping through all the schools, I was suddenly attacked by a thousand 'what if' thoughts. D= It was scary. Might not sound scary to you, but it was hellava scary to me!!!! Hate moping around in regret about life choices. So damn miserable. Been there plenty of times. *shudders*

Oh well. That concludes day 1 of spring cleaning. Urgh. Thought I'd only need a day to complete it but i guess not. Damn. I only have a 1 week break from work!!=( need to find time to stay home again..... Boo.

So much to do so little time!=(

Promises.

Never bought into the idea of them. Not because I've experienced a multitude of broken promises in my life so far, but just because people sound stupid when they make them. I don't remember when I stopped believing in them. Probably sometime after primary school coz the first thing that comes to my mind when someone asks me for a promise is: 'That's so primary school. Grow up.'. People change. Times change. What once was felt may be lost.

Seriously. The word 'promise' should really be taken out of the dictionary. Or at least not be used when emotions come into play. It's lame. I don't want someone doing something for me just because he/she promised me so. I want someone to do something for me because he/she wants to. Don't use the word so lightly. You have no idea what it means to people.

Even though I don't believe in them, when someone breaks a promise that was made to me, a part of me still dies inside.

I have a love-hate relationship with rom-coms.
(If you don't know what that is, here's a hint: Romantic Comedies)

Every single one is the same and every single one makes me feel the same way after I'm done watching it.
I'm not too sure if Rapunzel is considered a rom-com coz its a Disney animated film, but essentially, it has the same plot as all the other 'adult'(no I do not mean x-rated here) rom-coms out there.

Girl is sad(and attractive).
Girl meets boy who is an unlikely match(usually under strange circumstances).
Boy turns out to be the perfect match(and also happens to be very attractive).
Girl has trust issues with boy even though he makes her very happy.
Certain event(past coming back to haunt, misunderstanding etc,) causes girl to leave boy(crying while doing so usually).
Boy does something to salvage the situation(or girl realizes her folly).
And they live happily ever after.

I LOVE IT.
And I can't get enough of it. Even though they're all the same, I still am very drawn to them. Just can't help it. Maybe because the circumstances are always a bit different. Like they have different jobs, and they lead different lives. Thus the scenery is different and the jokes are different and they always lead interesting lives and have random jobs like cheese farming. Is that even the right term? o.o

But anyway, I love them coz they show me a perfect love. And I am naive enough to believe that whatever they have, I can have too. And I really want to have what they have. So badly. So very badly that I hate the movie for showing it to me. Because its so FREAKING HARD to get it! And then I just end up moping over how my life is so miserable because I haven't found the perfect love. Because I've never done all those romantic things in beautiful places with anyone. I've never been able to be so free and easy with anyone like they can. URGH. So annoying! Stupid sluts.

But its alright. I don't blame them. I know it's not everyday that you meet someone wonderful who ends up being your soulmate. So I will continue to strive and search for that perfect Love. The one that will make nothing else matter(as much). Sigh. As I like to quote(because I feel it very true), my Myers Briggs personality test very kindly informed me that I am an Idealist. So yes, I am an Idealist. I kinda like the fact that I am an Idealist. But that's besides the point. Point is, I'm not ready to settle for anything less than perfect at the moment. Not anytime soon I believe.

So whoever you are, wherever you are, wait for me. Coz I will find you. I WILL find you.

Rapunzel was a good movie. I liked it very much.