And so, because I can't fall asleep thanks to the nap I took at like 8pm, I decided that it was an opportune time to blog. Also because certain events during the night got me thinking about some lessons I felt I learnt after being shipped to Australia 4 months ago. Lol. I only had one beer tonight and a few random sips here and there, so I think I can still make sense. Hahahaha=)
Life lesson of relevance to tonight would be: When you find something good, don't f*ing let go.
Thought of this one during the trying first few months in Sydney when I was putting myself through crap regarding building new relationships and stuff. If it so happens that you who are reading this are one of the few I whined to during that period, then yes, you know what I'm talking about.=) Hahahaha. And you can take pleasure in the fact that YOU were something good that I found, and I'm going to do my best not to let you go. Being in Australia made me realise that starting over is not easy at all. To build the level of trust that you had with old friends would probably take the same number of years it took to do that with new friends. That no 2 people are alike, and you're never ever gonna find a perfect replacement for your loved ones back home. Nothing can replicate what you shared. And so, if what you had was special to you, don't try and put it away and move on to greener pastures, but instead treasure it and work to keep it. Of course you can't hope for things to be exactly the way they were, but in no way does it mean it has to end. And in no way does it mean it still can't progress.
I'm not demeaning the new people that I've met in any way. I think I've met some really special people and I'd love to see our bonds grow stronger over the years.=) It's just that the immaturity of our relationships triggered these feelings while I was there.
How is this relevant to tonight? Well more like the past week or so. And maybe even the past 6 months. I am confused. I feel like I may have stumbled upon something good. But that's all it is. A feeling. I can't be sure. We have no history. No experience to judge on. So do I hold on to it or let it go? In a way my mind has already been made up. Which is kinda based on another lesson I've been teaching myself while in Australia - out with the old, in with the new. This may sound contradictory to the first lesson I mentioned, but I mean this in regards to like... 'new opportunities' in Singapore. And like regrets. Like I can't possibly start anything new here when I'm not gonna be here most of the time. And with regards to regrets, whatever I failed to resolve or capatalise on, I need to forget. I need to stop thinking that I can make it right because its too late. I need to stop thinking that I can come home and pick up where I left. People move on and I need to as well. I can only hold on to those that I already have and start looking forward. I really have yet to move my life over to Australia. I'm still trying to live in Singapore when it is actually rather foolish. Seeing how I'm gonna be there for a good 5 more years.=/
So yeah. Such a tricky situation this is for me. I'm still learning how to make the most of this experience. I only hope that I've learnt enough in the first 4 months there to make the next 4 a lot more fruitful.
*BIG SIGH*
