hmmmm.... what do you do when a little bit of self-relection reveals to you that you're not exactly as good a person as you thought you were. its a shitty feeling. and the thing is, i really dont know how to change. in fact, i dont think its possible for me to accomplish that on my own accord. i need to experience something. something major, something scary, something hurtful, something that would just change the way i view things. change the way i've been feeling all my life.

i pray it happens soon, coz i really dont want to live like this anymore.