i cannot STAND myself sometimes. i cannot stand how lazy i am and how last minute i am when it comes to important, scary deadlines. the tasks are just too daunting and i dont feel up to the challenge. i wish i loved writing essays or boasting about myself. that would make it alot easier for me to fill up scholarship application forms and write my freaking personal statement.

=(

im just very scared. so afraid that whatever i write isnt good enough. so afraid that i just refuse to start writing even though i have ample time to do so every FREAKING NIGHT. only now do i finally want to start writing it. tonight. when im left with one night before i return to camp. -.-

I SUCK BIG TIME.

GRAH. if i screw up my medicine application, i would understand why.