its amazing how something as juvenille as High School Musical 3 actually set me pondering about my FUTURE. and about my WHOLE life to certain extent! D= omgz lah. high school musical provoked some soul-searching. serisously. its beyond me.

but my friend was absolutely right when he told me that i should watch it coz it was relevant to me since im graduating. to think that i laughed it off at that point of time, telling myself 'no, breaking out into cheesy songs in the cafeteria is soooo NOT relevant to me.'. and now im sitting here, contemplating about my university choices. i am bemused. but for a moment during the movie, i felt a strange bond with Troy Bolton. i felt such empathy for him. it was almost as if i was there on that stage singing my heart out about NUS and medical school with basketballs raining down around me. i felt like I was the Troy Bolton of vjc. and that i could sing and dance in a musical and play basketball really well too. not only that, i could sing and dance WHILE playing basketball. being exceptional at both. wow. (its no wonder small kids get brainwashed by such movies. tsktsk.)

but yes, on a more serious note now. to be honest, my sudden desire to figure out my life is not entirely attributed to the fact that i watched HSM3. (i was in fact cringing in my seat most of the movie, when they up-ed the cheese factor just a tad bit too much) its been going on the past week or so already actually. and its really quite scary.... i dont know why i waited till now to realise that i might not actually be happy getting into NUS med. and that there are a million other brilliant universities out there in the UK and what not that can offer such wonderul experiences. why oh why. i have no idea what i want or where i want to go now. was the only reason why i wanted to get into NUS med so badly the fact that i could defer my ns? plus the fear of leaving my friends back home and like starting a new in a foreign land. but suddenly it doesnt seem so scary anymore. suddenly i have this burning desire to be part of something bigger and better than NUS. but when i think about it yet again, is it really wise to want to study overseas because it sounds more prestigious? or just because it might be cool to attend lectures by 'ang moh' doctors instead of China ones? GRAH. i really dont know anymore. i thought i had all in the bag. i thought i had my future all planned out for me already. but the closer i get to the next part of my life the more confused i am. i cant say that i want to get into nus med with such confidence anymore. i dont know if im making the right decisions for the right reasons. its such a lousy feeling. sigh.

on the other hand, i might not have the liberty to choose in the future anyways. so i dont know. i guess i'll just wait and see. and keep my options open at the moment? hmmmm..